Finally, a representative government carries out its People’s will…

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Since UKIP has received much deserved rebuke of late over their Charter for Muslims, we here at White People HQ have taken it upon ourselves to develop a charter for them. No reasonable UKIPer should have any issue adding their name to its list of signatories.

 

UKIP Charter of Reasonable Behaviour
for creating a more Positive Britain

Preamble

As UKIP members we recognize the importance of building tolerance and understanding in Britain. In the past (and present (and honestly speaking the future too)) we haven’t been the best at preaching tolerance being a rabidly racist anti-immigrant party without even a veil over our actions and all. We now move forward into the future, by presenting the following articles to guide our actions in the future.

Article 1

The UKIP hazing ritual (the one involving squirrels and the sex thing) shall no longer be practiced. Although by signing this as UKIP members we acknowledge we’ve done it, and liked it. New UKIP members or non-UKIP members shall not be required to participate it. We UKIP members admit participating in it makes us very naughty boys.

Article 2

No UKIP member shall publicly or privately blame tolerance of gay people for the weather. UKIP members ergo shall not seek employ as meteorologists either on the television, radio, any other media, or in general comment on the weather and its reason for being. This includes the use of comments similar to, but not necessarily “it’s really coming down out there, someone in an official capacity must have failed to use their position to discriminate against a gay couple.” For the safety of all of Britain meteorologists who are UKIP members shall resign immediately or understand themselves to be banished from the house of UKIP.

Article 3

The place Bongo-bongo land shall no longer be referred to in any official policy or as part of any dialogue. Any references to said place shall be punishable by the following:

  • Those using this term shall be place on a small raft given nothing but a single British meat pie.
  • Those using said term will be denied re-entry to Britain until they can prove they have discovered said place.
  • Proof of said place shall include: full nautical charts, a complete list of local species, and a sculpture made from the bedrock.
  • Anyone caught attempting to return without full proof shall be served buffet-style at the next party conference on the third day.

Article 4

No UKIP member shall write or disseminate any policy. Any existing policies shall be destroyed and memory of them physically erased from UKIP members brains.

Article 5

The signatories to this charter affirm their profound belief in the necessity of UKIP to maintain the charade of reasonableness for other white parties in the British political system.

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Zimbabwe man says prostitute turned into a donkey; he’s “in love”

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Zimbabwe Man in Love with His Prostitute DonkeyA Zimbabwe man has told a court that the prostitute he hired turned into a donkey overnight, and now he is “seriously in love.”

Sunday Moyo, 28, was caught having sex with a donkey early Sunday morning, according to the New Zimbabwe news website. While appearing in court on bestiality charges, he told the magistrate a tale that reportedly “had the court in stitches.”

Police said they found Moyo having sex with a donkey tied to a tree outside his home in Zvishavane, a mining town near Masvingo, on Sunday at around 4 a.m., the New Zimbabwe says.

In court, Moyo admitted to the sex act, but explained that the donkey was in fact a prostitute he had earlier hired for $20 at a local nightclub.

“I don’t know how she then became a donkey,” Moyo is reported to have told the court. “I only came to know that I was being intimate with a donkey when I got arrested.”

The experience appears to have been a sexual awakening for Moyo, who now says he is in love with the beast.

“I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with [the] donkey,” Moyo said, according to state-run newspaper The Herald, as cited by Agence France-Presse.

Moyo will remain in custody until Thursday. The magistrate has ordered that he be examined by psychiatrists.

What will get you kicked off US Airways: Saggy pants or underpants?

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US Airways has acknowledged that less than a week before having a college student arrested for allegedly refusing to hike up his saggy pants while boarding, the airline allowed a man wearing little more than women’s underwear, black thigh-high stockings and heels to fly.

On June 16, University of New Mexico football player Deshon Marman was removed from a US Airways flight at San Francisco International Airport and arrested for refusing to follow crew members’ requests to hike up his saggy pants.

At the time, an airline spokesperson said that while the airline “does not have a specific dress code …we do ask that our passengers dress in an appropriate manner to ensure the safety and comfort of all of our passengers.”

Now there are reports — and a photo published in the San Francisco Chronicle —showing that six days before the saggy-pants incident, the airline allowed a man to board a flight in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., wearing an outfit that consisted, mostly, of women’s underwear and a short, see-through, cover-up shirt.

Read more at msnbc.com…